Let me be the one to love you more

Boyfriend boyfriend.. did you have a good night of sleep? Did you think about me? Do you miss me? Do you still love your girl friend? Do you know that I love you so much? Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you believe in me that I will love you forever? Do you know that I love you more???

:)

Boyfriend I love you. You are my boyfriend and I love you my boyfriend! I think about you all the time and there's not one second that you are not in my mind.. boyfriend I love you. Sometimes I don't know what does "love" really means... what do you do when you love someone? What do you do when someone loves you? What does love do.. what really is love? How does love happen and die? Is there a limit for love? What does it means when someone says I love you.. I know to me, when I say I love you, it means I have this feeling of love for you. But it's just a statement.. it's just a phrase that I want you to know or I know you like to hear it, that's why I say it. But does it mean something? I know it means I love you and I really love you that's why I say it, but other than that.. shouldn't there be something bigger than just saying I love you?? Like.. ohh I don't know. I just feel like saying it can't always fully express the feeling I have for you, and I wish I could do something about it.

I went on skype after talking to you this morning, and started talking to Rachel Plockmeyer. I told her that Kai is staying at ours and so she said hi to Kai, and then she said Nick saids hi to the both of us too, since they were chatting through webcams. So I sent Nick a message and said hi back to him on my own, then he asked about Kai. Kai told me to tell Nick that he's doing fine except he's still really upset about breaking up with his girlfriend. Then funny enough, Rachel started getting frustrated because she knew Nick and I were chatting, but she didn't know what we were talking about. So she kept asking but the both of us wouldn't tell her anything because we were talking about Kai, so she starting accusing us of plotting something. She was mad and started saying things like "I thought you were my best friend" and "I don't know if I can trust you".. and saying that she saw a super guilty look on Nick's face, and that he was laughing a lot, which frustrated her more and more. She thought the both of us were lying to her about something, which was really funny. So both Nick and I decided to cheer for our victory of driving Rachel crazy, and we started singing WEE ARE THE CHAMPIONSS over skype chats while Rachel was trying to make the both of us to tell her something. Great time.

We went out for lunch since we couldn't make it to Disneyland due to the bad weather, and guess what. We ended up going to another video game centre somewhere near home. I know right, typical.

This is the racing kart game that I'm really good at. Both my brother and Kai (and even the computers) were losers in front of me :) Cool huh? And that's no easy game.. I wish you could be here with us so you could witness your girlfriend's victory. And you'd say "See, that's my girlfriend right there winning everybody" with a proud face.

Something made me really mad happened today. So you can play against each others with this game, and immediately after Kai got off playing against my brother, someone whom none of us knew sat in that kart while my brother started to play some more. So my brother had to play against that person which, was totally fine, it always happen in video games centre like this, everyone can play against everybody else even they don't know each other. But this guy was a terrible person. He was obviously good at this game, but my brother was just okay. It was fine if someone was really good, you just have to try and maybe beat that person. But this guy was such a mean person, he would do tricks like letting my brother start first and then immediately past him like no one's business, and then wait for him at some point or even let my brother past him so that he could past him again, and he even stopped in front of the finishing line and wait till my brother to catch up and just won him by a second. This was obviously an act of looking down on my brother and hostility.. while Kai and I were watching them play, we were really mad and Kai even sweared.. I wanted to play against him for my brother afterwards but they told me not to, since none of us know who he is really and it could be danger to show him my enmity..

But I am still mad. Why couldn't he just be nice and play a normal game, if he won, he won. It wasn't neccessary to do all those tricks to show "grace" and kill somebody right in the last second before he finishes. That was just mean. Hong Kong people are like that, they like to make others feel absolutely terrible to prove that they are "good".. that is so not healthy, and I can't imagine what would this society become if this doesn't stop.. so the "good" people feel good all the time, and the "not-so-good" people become worse and worse because everyone keep making them feel terrible. That's why people suicide.

We started playing some other games since my brother wouldn't want to keep on playing that racing kart game anymore.. I knew he was a bit upset. I felt bad. But what can I do, it was just a game.

I miss you my dearest boyfriend :) I took a nap after we got home, and I dreamt of you holding me the whole time, which made me sooooooo happy. Everything about you make me soo happy. I don't know if that's love.. if someone make you happy, do you love that person? I do love you, and you make me happy, but I don't know if you making me happy = I love you. Humm.... what do you think? Does missing you = loving you also? Does thinking about you all the time = I love you also? Does needing you for life = I love you? What is "I love you" why is it soo powerful and every languages have to have the exact same phrase to describe it..

Ich (I) liebe(love) dich(you)

Mi (I) Amor (love)

Wo(I) ai( love) ni(you)

Miluji(love) tě(you)

Je(I) t(you) 'aime (love)

Salan(love) heyo(you)

Te(you) iubesc(love)..


Remember we were talking about both of us don't remember how I replied your first I love you e-mail? I went to my boyfriend folder today and found this. I replied you 3 days after you sent me the e-mail because I couldn't get on to my hotmail account when I was traveling to Czech, and I talked about some other things in the reply e-mail. But in the end of the e-mail, I wrote you these

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me
I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know

See. I said I love you more way before you.